Brian And The Magic German Sausage



Brian was a nice guy, honest , decent a very nice bloke altogether. One night Brian sat down to a tea of German sausages. Then to his surprised one of them talked to him. 'Hello Brian, my name is Hans I am a magical sausage who will grant you three wishes. Brian thought to himself 'hmmm, what can I wish for?' and then he came up with his first wish 'I wish to be part of a Channel 4 show where they talk about tv shows on tv and for some reason everything they say is really interesting' so there he was talking about Ken Barlow's arse on Channel 4 'He has a nice arse but I ain't gay umm I....' Brian froze he didn't know what to say. 'Um Michael Barrymore is a fag...ha ha ha' but no one else laughed and Brian was called a knob on the front of the sun newspaper. 'I am tired of this wish' Brian said 'I wish I was the sound effects guy in the new police academy film!' And there he was in the film the tall strong black bloke turned to Brian and said 'hey you used to be black!' Brian's only reply was 'vvvvvttttttt vvvvvvvttttttttt I am a robot' then one of the other said 'that wasn't a robot it was more like a cat.' Then breast woman said ' lets kick him in the balls' and so they did for half an hour. The reviews were brilliant Brian was a star but he could never have kids again. Soon his fame began to fade he appeared on 'This Morning' and soon turned his hand to Animal Porn films such as 'Ferret's Bushy Bush' and 'A hot night at McHootie's Zoo' it was only when OK magazine revealed he was doing this that things got bad. 'Why have my wishes come back to haunt me?' said Brian to the sausage 'my final wish is this. I wish I had a fish finger in my hand right now' And there it was and so